Hello and Greetings


Welcome my friends.  After a rather harrowing  period which saw a downward spiral of suicidal thoughts and self hate I am taking the positive steps to heal. For years I have been suppressing my shame, pain, violence, debauchery,  promiscuity, vices and my fucked up family.  The energy taken to suppress and play normal has had a huge effect on me and I want to be free from the past.  Now ready to release my sins and heal, I thought a fabulous healing process would to be to finally share my inner thoughts and experiences. Over the next one hundred days I will expell one demon at a time…… xoxo


Loneliness creeps in, a silent thief
Stealing moments, causing grief
A familiar ache in the chest
Reminding me, I am not at rest

Memories haunt, like ghosts in the night
Echoes of laughter, now out of sight
Empty rooms, and silent halls
Reflect the emptiness within my walls

I try to fill the void with work
Distracting myself, with endless clerical perk
But in the quiet of the night
I am left alone, with my plight

I yearn for companionship, true and kind
Someone to share my heart and mind
But until then, I’ll face this test
Embracing loneliness, as a necessary rest.

Why so cold my love?

A heart of ice, a heart of stone
A heart that’s cold, and all alone
A heart that’s hard, and never melts
A heart that’s sealed, and never felt

Like Medusa’s heart, it’s cold as stone
And like Eurynomos, it’s all alone
Like the heart of Hades, it’s hard and dark
Like the heart of Erebos, it’s sealed and stark

No love can thaw this heart of ice
No warmth can melt this heart of vice
No light can shine on this cold abyss
No hope can reach this heart of mist

So let this heart of ice remain
Forever cold, forever vain
For in its frozen depths reside
The secrets of a heart that died

I Ching

I Ching, also known as the “Book of Changes,” is an ancient Chinese divination text and the oldest of the Chinese classics. It is traditionally believed to have been written by the ancient sage and cultural hero Fu Xi, who is credited with creating the trigrams and hexagrams that are used in the text. This is something I use often for guidance, like an oracle.

The I Ching is composed of 64 hexagrams, each of which is made up of six stacked horizontal lines, with each line being either solid or broken. Each hexagram is associated with a particular meaning, and the text of the I Ching provides interpretations and guidance based on the hexagrams that are generated through a divination process.

The I Ching is often used as a tool for divination and as a means of obtaining guidance and insight. It is also considered to be a classic work of Chinese philosophy and has been influential in the development of Taoist and Confucian thought.

What are good questions to ask the I Ching?

The I Ching can be used to seek guidance on a wide range of topics and issues. Some good questions to ask the I Ching include:

1. What is the best course of action for me to take in a particular situation?
2. How can I best handle a particular problem or challenge?
3. What is the likely outcome of a particular decision or action?
4. What can I do to improve a particular relationship or situation?
5. What is the most appropriate way for me to approach a particular task or project?
6. How can I best align my actions with my values and goals?

It is generally best to ask specific, focused questions rather than open-ended or vague ones and always say please when asking a question.

The I Ching is most effective when it is used to provide guidance on specific issues or challenges.

Why use I Ching?

The I Ching is often used as a tool for divination, or the practice of seeking guidance or insight through the use of symbolic or ritualistic means. Some people believe that the I Ching can provide insight into the future or offer guidance on how to navigate difficult or uncertain situations.

In addition to its use as a divination tool, the I Ching is also considered to be a classic work of Chinese philosophy. It is thought to offer insight into the fundamental principles of the universe and the nature of reality, and many people find value in its teachings and wisdom.

The I Ching is also sometimes used as a way to gain a new perspective on a particular problem or challenge, or as a means of self-reflection and personal growth. Some people find that the process of using the I Ching and reflecting on its teachings can be a helpful way to gain clarity and insight into their own thoughts and feelings.

However , it is a complex and multifaceted text, and the advice that it offers can vary widely depending on the hexagrams that are generated through the divination process and the specific question or issue that is being considered. Here are a few examples of the types of advice that one might receive through the use of the I Ching:

  • “Be patient and wait for the right time to act.”
  • “Consider the needs and perspectives of others before making a decision.”
  • “Maintain a sense of balance and harmony in your actions.”
  • “Seek guidance and counsel from those who are wise and experienced.”
  • “Be open to new ideas and perspectives, and stay flexible and adaptable.”
  • “Pay attention to your inner feelings and listen to your intuition.”

It’s important to keep in mind that the I Ching is not a magical oracle, and the guidance that it provides should be considered as just one factor among many when making decisions or trying to navigate difficult situations.


Our cosmic guides

The sun and moon, two cosmic lights,

One bright and bold, the other pale and slight.

One brings the day, the other brings the night,

Together they make the world a beautiful sight.

Shadows stretch and dance across the land,

Illusions play and slip through our hand.

The sun and moon, they each take their turn,

Guiding us through the day and through the night to burn.

The sun and moon, they are the earth’s own pair,

One hot and fierce, the other cool and fair.

But both are needed for life to thrive,

Together they help the world to thrive.

So let us dance and play in their light,

Embrace the day and the night.

For the sun and moon, they are our cosmic guides,

Leading us through our earthly lives.